City

I like to dance all night. I said who are you ? No matter who you are.

So we dance all night. & dance all day. I say. I say.

We're gona feel the fire. We're gona soak it up. We're gona sip this wine.

& pass the cup.

Who needs avenues ? Who needs reservoirs ?

We're gona show this town, how to kiss these stars.

Where am i now ?

"You keep on crying baby i'll bleed you dry."

-Crawl, KOL

10

I wanna change the colour on your mood ring.

Mirrors at the Bedhead

She said to strip yourself bare is to show yourself, to be yourself, to make yourself vulnerable. I wanna be vulnerable. Vulnerable to you.

25/03/10

HAPPYBIRTHDAAAAAYTOKOROOOOOOOOI

Letter To Tia, 2006

Do you think i'm unhappy ? Do you think i'm down ? Well you'd be wrong my love. You got this one incorrect. I'm happy & i want you to know. I want you to know that all the unhappiness & distrust in my life's gone away 'coz i found a way to make myself better. I am better. Better than you. I'm smarter now & i want more things. I can do without the bullshit & the lies.
I heard you calling the other day, you said my name just like i'd say it. You looked at me just like i would in the mirror. You said what i had wanted to. You do what i did & say what i said. But we are different now. I found myself in the little cracks in the pavement i walk on. I found myself in the walls that enlcose my soul. I found me in the sky.
I want to tell you that i'm sorry you'll go through everything hating everyone & everything along the way. The days will be long & you'll lose your confidence sometimes but i have to tell you to keep your head high & not to judge people 'coz they'll be the ones who will help you in the future. You will like & love & you won't get it back 'coz people are just like that. You will give everything to everyone & get nothing in return but be yourself always 'coz that's the most inportant thing in the end.
Things won't last. Things will break. You will break. Everyone will come at you, the whole world will turn on you. But be strong baby girl 'coz you are the one i depend on to be strong for me. I want every piece of your personality in the end. & i can say that when it comes right down to it, even if you don't listen to me at all i will still seek you. Find you & be you. Thanks baby girl for all the crying & touching & listening & loving.
Thanks for the memories.

Universe

Times have changed. It's not kill or be killed anymore. It's kill or become irrelevant. Cardinal law of the universe : do not betray the ones you love. You will have & see & feel nothing.

Stopping, staring

Good day, bad day ? What does it matter .. sometimes, when i think everything is gonna stop all together, i listen really carefully & all i can hear is 'ra ra ra ra ..'

Find us, find you.

Once the colours fall & fade. & the new skyline comes to us like a wave then it will be up to us to make the night a good one.

The year of the non-gentlemen

Hello world ! How are you doing ?
I came to a sad conclusion today that includes the desolving of opinions based on theories that a guy can cure your sorry problems. It's short & sweet & as i might add, very truthful. But my opinion is one of many, it's still & only mine though.
After a brief but encouraging talk with some of the girls after school today i found out that not only is the male species selfish in certain catergories but also & blatantly the horniest of all before them ! Not that that's a problem ofcourse, i mean boys will be boys. But it is sad about how they apply it really. Selfish maybe ? Fine. Everyone is at times, it's a basic human right to worry about yourself. Greedy ? We can deal with that. Seriously, we're too nice. BUT. Selfish, greedy, horny, untruthful, ungrateful, untrustworthy .. now thats just too pathetic.
I remember reading books about guys who looked up to women, as if they were Queens. Winning a woman's affection meant giving in to her needs & especially wants. Being at her beck & call. Wanting to do things as she would never do for you. Being a gentleman. Oh whatta piece of really good fiction that is for us now !
Now don't get me wrong, i'm happy in my own personal relationship with someone who respects me. But this is for my dear friendlies who have to know their worth.
I mean, it's an obvious ugly picture if you ask me - you don't forget about your commitment when you get mad. Anger is neccessary in some realtionships but it should not control it, however sad of a person you are. I swear i see girls running after guys & fessing up all they have (which just happens to include alot) & i just smile coz when things go terribly wrong, i smile :)
Point. You're a human being, just like that person with a penis & just coz we are the opposite sex to a gender that thinks that just being born male is enough of an award in itself does not mean we are less than they are. I'm female & life's going good for me.
I don't consider myself lucky, i'm just aware.

Orange sheets

I'm evolving. It's not a new beggining, i'm just shape shifting. I'm jumping right in. I might hate it, it might be the worst thing ever. It could be like water & a flame. Or it could be the best thing ever. Where's the line between passion & delirium ? I'll write until you come to me. Until you are lying beside me on my daybed with orange sheets behind moutains & light coming in through the windows. I will stand on the roof & watch the birds fly past me & wave hi. I will smile at mongooses passing by. I will watch the sun move in a straight line across the sky to the end of the earth. I will learn. I will live. I can live.
Mama always told me to do things right so i will do this right. I will make this my own. I will watch & make & be & feel what slides to me. I can so i will. I am better than myself. I am better than i think. I'm evolving like a caterpillar. I'm shapeshifting. Watch me.